Tarot for the Month of June 2020

How will June unfold, in your life, and on the world stage? Tarot professionals Katie-Ellen Hazeldine in Great Britain and Kyra Oser in the United States and Canada look at the cards.

Katie-Ellen Hazeldine – Two of Cups

This month, I have drawn the Two of Cups, the loving cup; a positive card of messages, meetings, artistic exchanges, friendly exchanges, love, romance proposals and marriage.

The month of June is named after the goddess Juno, the wife of Jupiter or Zeus as he was known to the Greeks. Juno was the Roman goddess of marriage, also called Hera in Greek mythology. It is no accident that her name became attached to this time year when the days are lengthening to the summer solstice on Saturday, June 20th for the northern hemisphere (shortening in the southern hemisphere to the winter solstice of Sunday, June 21st, 2020).

Now that we are in June, the favourite month for weddings, the current lock-down is making itself even more keenly felt, not only by the frustrated couples themselves, who had planned to hold their big day this June, but for the business side of the wedding industry.

The winged figure above the loving couple is a reminder that the first few weeks of June belong to mercurial air sign Gemini, and that winged caduceus, a symbol of Mercury, is a symbol of communications, travel, and commerce.

The wedding industry will be taking a big financial hit this month. Registry offices in the UK are closed for the time being. Some may have re-opened in May, but many are saying they will not be able to resume weddings before the beginning of September. A busier autumn can therefore (hopefully) be anticipated, and even a few Christmas weddings this year.

I also drew the Temperance card, which translates as Sagittarius energy…study, travel, and planning…late November to late December 2020.

There will undoubtedly be a surge of weddings later in the year, but when they do, some brides and grooms might be hoping to keep the costs down a bit. There is nothing like a good knees-up, but the Tarot card for that is the Three of Cups, not the quieter, intimate Two of Cups.

This seems to be the message for this coming month – ‘two is company.’ Even if it just us and a beloved animal companion, that is company.

Many will still want that big and noisy knees-up, and there’s nothing the matter with that. But, says the Two of Cups, the act of marriage is in itself is a relatively simple and inexpensive legal procedure requiring few witnesses, and though it is not the usual tradition these days, it remains the case that it is perfectly possible to get married with or without a big social celebration, or to organise those things on a separate basis.

A more intimate gathering with a close circle of friends and family can be a more relaxed occasion with much less stress and expense attached, at this time when so many people not only the couples and their families, but prospective guests are really up against it financially, and likely to be so for some while to come.

Others may be mourning and reviewing the style of occasion they may now prefer in view of that.

The Two of Cups is associated with the zodiac sign of Cancer and is ruled by the Moon and also Venus. Interestingly, for a card drawn entirely at random, it is particularly associated with the first decan of Cancer the 21st – 30th of June – prime wedding time.

Cancer is all about the home and the family. Family feelings can run high during this decan even in ordinary times. Everyone has opinions about the way things ‘should’ be done in general – this can rise to fever pitch when it comes to the organisation of family weddings.

I knew a young bride-to-be who wanted a small and friendly wedding. The two mothers had very different opinions and the guest list kept on growing, the whole thing growing bigger and more expensive. Her fiancé’s mother had particularly clear views on how things should be done. Her fiancé did not feel able to speak to his mother about this, and the young lady was becoming increasingly unhappy and resentful. But then this young couple did a very brave and assertive thing, and much to everyone’s astonishment, stopped this juggernaut in its tracks, and called the whole thing off.  The following year, they had a quiet wedding with family and close friends, and she said it was just what they had both wanted the first time around; just beautiful, small, and friendly and she had no regrets.

These anxious, and for many, deeply sad days are offering us all a space, a pause, a chance to reconsider and reflect upon what we really need and want for ourselves, and for our loved ones, and what we do for show, or simply because we feel it is expected.



Katie-Ellen Hazeldine, BA Hons, is a Tarot and Rune reader/consultant, writer, and historian in the UK, and has been reading professionally since 2006. Website – True Tarot Tales. Twitter: @truetarottales



Kyra Oser – The Lovers

The lovers in the TarotThe tarot card I drew for June is The Lovers. This card highlights the higher meaning and emotional deepening that results from adding a dose of compassion to your connections. The Lovers operates on a theme of harmony with self, others, and the divine. By first connecting with your idea of divinity, you can enhance your relationship with yourself, which in turn improves your union with others. For some, merging with the divine might mean listening to music, dancing, looking at art, meditating, or being in nature (once we are all outdoors again).

In global news, expect the nature of relationships between countries and the way they communicate with one another to shift. Information sharing becomes more open in an effort to work together for the common purpose of more effectively and expeditiously alleviating this global pandemic. In international politics, partnerships, coalitions, and unions will gain more power this month. The only way to move forward from a corrupt society is through union with like-minded individuals of genuine integrity.

Ultimately, this is a card about honest communication, so in terms of future news you can anticipate a major media exposure that centers on the dishonesty of powerful figures, as well as a celebration of morality in those who have been exploited by predatory capitalism. Taking advantage of vulnerable people, wildlife, and the environment for personal power or profit will no longer be worshiped in this new world. Empathy will be elevated to a higher status than capitalization, and since most of us are capable of empathy, nearly anyone will possess the potential to feel appreciated and respected. Subsequently, expect improvements in social justice as a long-term trend toward humanization will be on the rise very soon.

In your own life, this card emphasizes choices between self-care and caring for others. Too much of one or the other form of caring imbalances a relationship, so if you’re feeling out of sorts you can ask yourself if you’re being too selfish or selfless at any given time. While The Lovers is sometimes a card about physical connection, in its upright position it expresses the potential for spiritual or even Tantric communication on either a material or psychic level. Sometimes these sensory expressions materialize extra sensorially in dreams before being actualized in the concrete world. However, if this card is surrounded by pentacles or major arcana cards related to career, it can also point to non-romantic partnerships. Or, if your focus this month is on family, The Lovers signifies new approaches to kinship based on whichever psychological or incorporeal explorations you choose to engage in this June. No matter which relationships this card represents for you in June, as long as you consciously project love to others, even in your thoughts or feelings, that benevolent, compassionate energy can’t help but return to you in some form or another at some point in time.


You can read more from Kyra at her website here.




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37 thoughts on “Tarot for the Month of June 2020”

  1. Jessica,
    Yesterday I was walking on a trail in woods and an owl was flying on my right side with a large wings. At first I couldn’t believe it than I stopped walking thinking unbelievable it’s middle of the day in this green woods owl stopped on a tree facing me. When I continue to walk an owl continues to fly but no she did not sing.

    Jessica if you have time can you do reading for me for month of June and I just wondering all day what is the meaning of this owl appearing in daylight in my life and showing up in my life

    Thank You

    • You have Minerva in Leo in the Fifth House of children, teenagers and young adults. Minerva has an owl by her side. Look up Minerva on Google and you will see her with her helmet and owl – always. For the second time, I can tell you that the key to so much in your life is about godchildren, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, grandchildren, younger in-laws, potential relationships involving other people’s children – and a younger generation in general – Millennials or Gen Y.

  2. Hi, could you please draw a card for me for June, I’ve been following Jessica for years now and moved house Last year after reading all her predictions, Gave me the push I needed to make, best move I ever made really love my new place, fascinating watching all her predictions unfolding, thank you Jill

    • That is wonderful, Jill. The Tarot ties in with your chart, so you have Ceres at 0 degrees and Neptune at 0 degrees, and here we have an eclipse at Cancer 0 degrees on 21st June. In fact, the eclipse is shown in the card. Ceres is really about negotiating new beginnings. You will be doing so with other people, or even the universe itself – call it God, Gaia or whatever feels right to you. Ceres in mythology pleaded with Jupiter to negotiate with Pluto, who was ending her old way of life. Jupiter compromised and a dramatic new beginning for her was created. In fact it was a totally different universe. This is what you are being shown and offered. Ceres is about feelings, though. And first of all, the feelings must be honoured and dealt with – of course. Cancer is a water sign, and water is about emotion. Your Neptune at 0 Scorpio is also a water sign. So, that is part of the journey. Yet, you will ultimately move into a brilliant new space in your life.

  3. Dear Jessica,
    I’ve never had a Tarot reading before. It would be lovely if you could do a reading for me for June.
    Thank you so much.

    • Sure, Agnes. You have the Ten of Swords. Your Eleventh House of groups, friends, circles, networks of people, teams, clubs, communities and ‘the hive mind’ is now occupied by Saturn which is always a learning experience. You have Saturn going through your Eleventh House for the first time in 29 years. You also have a stellium in Aquarius, the sign of groups and friends. The weather report is – take an umbrella. Be astute about how human nature is and how people in a circle can be! I am a great believer in the Before Tarot which is a way of seeing how situations might be set up. Essentially, know groups in your world really, really well. Be completely across what people are about, where they are coming from psychologically, and how you are best equipped to deal with them as a collective. Maybe you don’t even have to go there. You don’t even have to walk into that space. I heard the word ‘donkeys’ on a psychic level so I will pass that on.

    • June is about the wonderful way in which firm action and a good sense of humour can fix, heal or sort out just about any situation. We are not going to get through Saturn in Aquarius without some people politics, and you are not immune from that either, but removing any further cause for issues will help clean things up. A smile, a swift move and a determination to get rid of anything that might extend the complications, is all that is required. After that, a group, circle, community or wide network of people can be seen as refreshing. Relaxing. This card is the Five of Swords.

  4. Thank you ladies. I always look forward to reading your cards for the upcoming month.
    Me. Adams, will you pull a card for my sad, pathetic excuse of a love life in the month of June?
    Thanks in advance!

    • You have the Seven of Cups here so you are projecting. You are looking at so many visions here. Hopes, dreams, fears and a bit of loathing! None of it is real. It is all in your mind. Yet, the nice things (an impressive home, wealth, success) are there for the taking if you reach for them and make them a real part of your life. Just as importantly you need to banish who or what you find threatening, even repulsive, toxic, or just terrifying. This is projection. Your eyes and brain are the slide projector and you beam it all out, back to yourself. If you come to know yourself better, you will be less of a stranger to yourself and everything will feel more solid, real, down-to-earth, grounded. That is the message here.

  5. Hi there, thank you for these readings they are actually much more hopeful and potentially peaceful than I thought may have been the case considering what is currently happening in the world as I write this. Could I have a Tarot reading please for this month. Saturn is retrograding back to oppose my natal moon and I am really feeling the restrictions I’m experiencing in and around my home specifically because of my neighbours behaviour and would really appreciate some guidance with that. Thank you in advance.

    • The great thing about Saturn in Capricorn is that he goes away. He was known as Chronos/Kronos to the Greeks, before the Romans took him and renamed him. When there is a chronic issue (never-ending) Saturn is usually the culprit. Yet this is the last time you will have to deal with it. I am sorry you have had to go through this, but you only have Saturn in Capricorn opposing your Moon in Cancer, once every 29 years. The High Priestess is your card. Here we have a woman who is a professor, graduate, academic, teacher, author or similar. She has pearls of wisdom. The New Moon is at her feet. This New Moon will be at 0 Cancer on the June 21st Eclipse. This is a perfect quincunx to your Jupiter at 0 Sagittarius in the Ninth House. So that’s a giveaway. This card also has, incredibly, the glyph for Gemini at the top, and we associate that with education, academia, publishing, multimedia. If I was a problem neighbour I would be intimidated, impressed and ultimately cowed by a clever woman who has done her research and homework, or is showing her qualifications. This is a powerful woman. Or does she also dwell next door? In which case, anyone with her sort of wisdom and knowledge would see a clever way through. On a far more important note, you are being shown a pathway through the world of books, information, vast subjects or intellectual challenges with that New Moon. I don’t see neighbour troubles in The High Priestess. I see two columns, poles apart (likely, your two homes) separated by a rather fiercely intelligent woman. Of course this may be you, playing the part. In the background I see the fruit known as the pomegranate. In the myth of Pluto, Ceres and Proserpina, Proserpina ate a pomegranate (half) and was thus made to spend half the year with her husband and half the year with her mother. She was a go-between who separated both sides. I am beginning to wonder if this isn’t a woman on the council or a clever female mediator or lawyer, as she is wedged between the two supporting columns of two very different spaces! The New Moon is the timing. Double message here, both about the neighbour and yourself as a student of life/mentor to others. Find the card from Pamela and Arthur’s deck when you finish this, on Google Image Search.

    • Sure, Rosie. Here we have the New Moon at 0 Cancer on 21st June, an eclipse. Look up eclipse on Search and you’ll see I’ve written about the lack of clear vision. Please wait until the 20th, 21st, 22nd have passed you by. Then remove what blinds you to what is really there, or who is actually there. I don’t doubt you feel you have to defend yourself or protect your situation. Yet, you could be wasting time and energy if you are not actually seeing straight! Once you are certain of what is required, and when – use your sixth sense or ask people to help you choose your moment – you can do what is required. Further on ahead is a group, club, team, circle, community or network which is a relief and a release. In fact you can use it to conquer a couple of ambitions and even one really big goal in 2021.

  6. Hi there,

    Could I have a tarot reading please for June concerning career and health?

    I am Aries with Pisces ascendant and Virgo moon in my Natal chart along with Pluto at 14 degrees Virgo, True Node at 15 degrees Gemini and Chiron at 20 degrees Pisces


    • You have Saturn in Aquarius now, the sign of groups, peer group pressure, the hive mind and friend – as well as teams, clubs, networks – to sort out. The great irony of this is the Nine of Staves also turns up which shows an outsider figuring out the group. This will take time. Longer than June, possibly July or August, but that’s the healing. Communication is everything, David, because if everyone is talking properly and prepared to close the gaps, every single person can unite. In fact 2021 would be incredible as together you can all do anything. Obviously one person does not feel like that and it is to this person that everyone’s time and energy must go. Equally, from that side, we need to see less suspicion, less hanging on to the past, more of an open attitude. There is one other possibility. Someone just walks. Leaves the situation entirely. That’s okay – the collective would be fine – but these things are better sorted out, non?

  7. Hi Jessica – I pray for relief for all as we begin June! Interestingly I pulled the two of cups and the lovers with my new Star Tarot deck by Cathy McClelland – two days ago! What card(s) and weather do you see for me from where you are? Thank you so much – I really do appreciate and look forward to your insights!

    • I don’t know that deck, but the Two of Cups is obviously an emotional or sexual match and The Lovers is a relationship or engagement, reconciliation or second honeymoon waiting to happen. But as I say, I don’t use that deck.

  8. Hi Jessica. Would you pull a card for me for June please. Not sure where my career is headed but seems very flat for me. As for my personal life, that’s unbelievable dull.

    • Saturn in Aquarius and the Five of Staves both say the same thing. To make a group of people work, you have to side with one other person you have the most in common with, and then the pair of you need to draw in a third and fourth person, and so on, until everyone is on side again. This circle, team, club, community or other network of people could succeed in building something fantastic by 2021 when Jupiter goes into Aquarius, but only if the self-interest and ‘individuality’ (to put it politely) of particular people is set aside for the common good. It’s worth your time and energy. And it makes life more interesting!

  9. Hello Jessica,
    I checked my email and the professors haven’t got back. I had written to him in April , re seeking my place for academic research. I updated my application and studied the subject for changes and sent it to them, but no reply.

    The funding I applied for in April, naturally did not go ahead because profs are not responding. I am sitting here with an email draft to them (a male and now a female as well , makes sense to write to not just him.) and I don’t know what more should i write, I have been on this since 2 years. I had a chance in 2019 to move countries and take this research up but serious situations at home were going on. And of course money, I can’t afford it. But now I think, I have to find a way…but now they are not getting back to me. I am so scared about my life, I am financially dependent, have been for a long time because of personal breaks, I have to move out of this country if I have to have a career and a life. I am terrified to the core, but I am writing to them now. I don’t know what else to do.

    I tell you this because you did reply to me –

    ‘Thank you for confirming the prediction. You may want to go to my YouTube channel now to listen to a broadcast about the North Node in Gemini and South Node in Sagittarius, which will better explain the karma from 19 years ago, and specifically, the situation with this male professor. I urge you to connect and communicate with him, and make sure that what he has in his hands, academically, is nurtured and brought to fruition.’

    I also work for this male prof who just gives us some voluntary work online, it just some basic stuff, for my cv. Its not taking me anywhere. I want to use that for my acads, but the research prof has gone completely silent because of my delay in 2018 9.

    I don’t know what is my future and my immediate steps to tackle this apart from this email. I am so scared of what my life has become. I live on my own and this is the year onward I have to move and resume my career….

    You did mention ‘North Node and South Node, unaspected, tend not to be so important – just because you don’t get all-encompassing events. The patterns in the chart which are tightly connected across more than one zodiac sign and house, tell a story. It is often a dramatic story and it repeats. Unaspected planets, nodes, angles or points are just like unconnected chapters!’

    So even though I (Aries 21st mar 78) have a Saggi stellium and Jupiter in gemini (27 deg) , my nodes in hang alone (Aries Lib 6 deg). So this coming node cycle isn’t helping I think?.. I write this as you guessed a male prof, but he is all silent and I have only that lead for my research and moving out the country. Presently where I am has nothing in terms of an arts research career.

    I am simply terrified Jessica and frozen in a way that fear makes you. Seeing no mail from the univ prof. I am writing to him now, just think and follow up. What is going on kindly please, Jessica. Thank you.

    • You work for a male professor who gives you voluntary work online, which helps your C.V. and he is the man I was talking about. The research professor is not getting back to you, for whatever reason, but the other man is the one you should focus on. I am sorry you are going through fear, and I understand the anxiety. This is a physical condition which can be managed. If you have not yet seen your doctor about anxiety then make a call. If you do not want to do that, or cannot, then go online and search Dr. Claire Weekes and the free resources associated with her. Borrow any book by her in the library system and learn how to overcome anxiety which is a physical issue making you feel more scared/frightened/anxious than is normal. Your parasympathetic nervous system is not being sympathetic but there are simple techniques you can learn to calm down and then life will feel more normal and it will be easier for you to manage. This other research professor owes you an explanation or answer. There may be a simple explanation. Instead of doing head miles and worrying what that is, telephone the assistant or administrator for that department. Continue to do all you can in terms of voluntary work in the meantime because if you really help this other professor, it will grow and thrive, over time, and produce all kinds of possibilities. I also think you should be talking to a much, much older man (perhaps it is one of these two but it may be quite a different person!) Grandfather age. Very, very high up. Negotiate with him and offer him what he wants and needs. Do your homework and research and see what this ‘King’ figure at university or just in the work/business world requires and negotiate with him. He’ll want to know if you are ambitious. Yes, you are ambitious. Show that you are prepared to work long and hard at making it. Now, fix the anxiety issue, which you simply do not have to live with!

  10. Hi there,

    Could I have a tarot reading please for June concerning love and career?

    I always look forward to reading your cards for the upcoming month.

    Thanks for the lessons.

    • You have the Knight of Swords. Mars at 28 Cancer in your Fourth House is now triggered by the Cancer weather coming through in June, including the New Moon Eclipse at 0 Cancer on 21st June. Slow down and cool down. This is about your household, family tree, roots, heritage, ancestors, culture, background. There is a lot of energy here, which is great, and a mission. Yet it’s too fast and furious. One side of your family tree is being blown sideways. Now, that could be useful as there is something about your relatives which needs maintenance. Nature may well maintain, here. Who/what needs to be cut back, pruned, trimmed or tidied – will be. I very much doubt your Mars in Cancer can really achieve much unless there is a genuine emergency, though. And this applies to your house, apartment, relatives or flatmates/roommates. You don’t really need all this heat and speed unless the roof is coming off, or someone needs you there in five seconds. So watch what is required and what is not required. Consider strategy and tactics. No need to speed, unless you genuinely need to speed! The Knight of Swords is your Tarot card. Look up Knight of Swords, Mars, Cancer, Fourth House when you finish reading this.

  11. Hello, Jessica

    Tarot is very new to me. I have north node in Sagittarius at 15 degree, Saturn in Cancer 15 degree, MC in Cancer 1 degree. I’m worried that maybe big and rather bad change will come to me. Could you read a card for June for me please?

    Thank you.

    • The Moon, Fortuna, Salacia and Psyche in Aquarius in your Eleventh House of friends and groups is more important. And no need to worry, please. Astrology is not about worrying it is about knowing and planning. Okay, so you are blessed to have quite a lot of precious and valuable people in your life. You may have the backing and support of a group, club, team, charity, band, association, society and so on. Or perhaps this is a Twitter circle. Maybe it is a less formal circle of friends. Aquarius rules groups and friends. For the first time in 29 years Saturn is in Aquarius in your Eleventh House. Look up Saturn, Aquarius and Eleventh House when you finish reading this. It is time to treat every face as a separate individual and give them one-on-one attention. Don’t just assume people can be left to themselves. You are obviously pretty happy (maybe over-content) with things but there is one person who could leave or be out of the circle, for whatever reason. Turn and pay attention. If he or she goes, another one could easily go. Give each face what she or he needs and maintain this circle. Do more with it. In 2021 Jupiter (look him up too) is in Aquarius and what you work at now will reward you in the most fantastic way next year. I had a client in a football team who was smug about the players because as coach he knew they backed him but he realised that the goalkeeper was close to quitting. That would mean the captain, the goalkeeper’s friend, might have gone with him. He worked hard at appreciating, stoking and ‘feeding’ each player as a unique individual and hastily fixed the situation with the goalkeeper. They did really well in a major competition the following year.

  12. Dear Jessica,

    I find tarot readings intriguing, don’t really understand very well but am learning through these posts, thank you! If you get to read this am hoping you might be able to see something for me, please. I find myself with a big decision and have been feeling really blocked past couple of weeks I’m having trouble hearing/trusting myself on this.

    Have been accepted to an intensive course, 3 months and starts soon. Must decide if I invest the time and energy (which I’m finding very limited the past year) or muster the courage to find work with the studies I completed last year (interior arch/design, a long term interest). I’m torn as I wonder if I am drawn to study as a way to find validation and/or avoiding the doing. Is this course (web design) a gift or a distraction from getting on with life out of fear. I must decide soon and not take the place of someone else who may need it.

    It would be so appreciated if you see anything that may help me with this decision, I feel these next 3 months are really crucial for some reason. Really would love to hear your insights, thank you Jessica x

    • You are doing this on Mercury Retrograde in Cancer in the Fourth House which rules interior design and architecture, and Venus Retrograde in Gemini in the Third House which rules online study and teaching. The dates have been up for a while now. If you go ahead read the terms and conditions to see what happens if there are technical problems, the course schedule changes, you are unable to complete the course and so on. Is there a change of mind policy? Long-term you have the North Node in Gemini, South Node in Sagittarius (until January 2022) which transits your Third House of web based study and Ninth House of qualifications, academia and higher learning. For clues about how well you are going to do here, go back to the years 2001 and 2002 when the transit last passed. It’s time to learn from the past.

    • Sure, Justina. The Tarot card for June is The Chariot. A symbol of domestic and international travel for you. Yet the driver is stuck. You can clearly see two cities in the card. The chariot itself is his vehicle – a symbol of an aeroplane these days. When Pamela Colman Smith created The Chariot in 1909 the world had not yet become ruled by airlines. The stuck quality here is Mercury Retrograde and Venus Retrograde in Gemini, which rules local travel and transport. Retrogrades occur when planets appear to stand still, or stop-start. Be strongly aware of this when planning to travel in June, July 2020. It also applies to bookings you are tempted to make for vacations later in 2020 or 2021. Read the fine print on the outcomes, if there are cancellations, delays or even if an airline collapses, please. The same applies for trains, buses and coaches, which The Chariot also suggests. And of course, vehicle traffic. Clogged traffic jams are very likely. We are also going to see major hassles about visas, borders, passports, residency and so on. The Chariot is talking to us in June – and to you.

  13. Thank you, Jessica.
    I’m going through house project and I know it is Venus and Mercury retrograde that you reminded us clearly about that. Then I’ve read about eclipse. So, yes, I was worried that eclipse is going to add extra stress for cancer theme. Thank you for your help to know my near future.
    I don’t have circle of friends at all. I have only few friends and they are not connected. I will try to re-connected with them now. I’ve read Aquarius and it describes me well when it comes to group of people.I want to feel I’m part of a group but somehow I always feel I’m not part of it. It’s not how I’m seen by others (as often people think I have lots of friends) but I feel. I was happy being on my own but after having family, I’ve just started to like working with someone together. Compromise, care, ask for kindness etc. I wish I am part of such a team you talked about!

    Thank you

  14. Hi Jessica please could you select a tarot card for the month of June for me please? Thank you x

    • Sure. Your card is The Chariot which shows travel, paused. The trip you were taking, or the trip you hope to take, is in freeze-frame in June 2020. This gives you time to think and daydream and be more inspired (and better informed) when the time is finally right for you to drive, fly, or ride to that all-important place.

  15. Thank you so much Jessica. Non, the profs men, (and women) are all in their fifties I feel, definitely not old old although the research one has complete white hair, but then that is what the arts field does to you, whether you make art or are in academia. I am at a loss honestly by your reading because in this line where I am I have no professor, artist – man or woman – around at the age of a grandparent , as you say:

    “also think you should be talking to a much, much older man (perhaps it is one of these two but it may be quite a different person!) Grandfather age. Very, very high up. Negotiate with him and offer him what he wants and needs.”

    I don’t have any this kind of person in this professional field , they would be retired by that age…

    I had the email to the prof in my head fluently a few days ago, was drafting them, when I just felt I should check the outer roof because of rain and what a shock!! 2017 to 2019 spending savings – few thousand $$ (mother and I) had the roof repaired and other repairs of the house, (delayed thanks to the father refusing to do anything and not allowing us to either, the madness) and I see a roof leak. It shook me, after spending so much time , money these issues are somewhat back. I was so down I just lost my words for the email and took days to calm down. Now as you told me before – I’m not focusing on the house, I have to get back to my emails my research. Else I’ll be completely done for. I told my mother about the status and she too is so feddup of this. I know I have to leave this country (am in Asia at present, very broadly put) as there is no concept of research academia and writing and all that in the arts field. The concept of libraries is alien. Hence I have to leave, and hence these emails. I’m sitting here with them now.

    I have no idea about my future, yes the only thing that I am doing at present is the voluntary stuff for the other prof. It’s just a tiny thing for him and for me as well. Main thing and the only way is moving out to the univ research. 2019 I had the chance, but went in late because of house matters. The Jup in Sag cycle. Now am at this. I had great regrets about that yet at the same time, the issues at home had to get done. But now I’m better about the past in that, just leave it. What’s done is done. And I just want the house issues to stop. Enough, there is no money and time for them to crop up again. I hope they stop forever. I have just Mars (at 24 deg) in Cancer and from your writings I think Mars = anger and I have always been unhappy and burdened by house matters. A happy home, this concept is alien to me.

    That voluntary work is intermittent, there is nothing now. I know I should not get anxious as before and all worked up. For now , it’s the emails to be completed well. It’s just, i don’t know, I don’t know how I will leave and when and this angle about old old men…

    I have to leave, the only way out, I can pack and leave right now, move abroad sensibly to the univs (I completed my masters there in that country 2015 to 17, the first step) rather than typing here….It’s just, I have no idea about the future, no intuition working. This is a really a difficult time and I have told you that the present Gem Sag nodes are different than my stand alone Aries Lib Nodes. I am so feddup of being here on my own, no peers, colleagues, profs, career, nothing. All what I do is online and prior application work because of univ access that I had before. This can’t go on. I have to physically be in that country in that field, with peers, profs, people and then writings , thinking and ideas and all that will take off well. I don’t know when all this is going to happen and all this is just so unclear Jessica about what is going on.

    • This was about the future not the present – the senior man is not in your life yet. The same advice applies to the voluntary work you are doing with the academic. Can I say something? You need to pick up the telephone and speak to someone who can listen to you (just listen) as the internet is not always what you need. I like The Samaritans. I am not sure where you live, but there would be a telephone counselling service in your city, I would hope. You are also living with anxiety and you need to see your doctor to address the anxiety symptoms you are living with. Thank you.

    • Your Tarot card is the Chariot which shows a person travelling, but stuck. Allow for delays or changes with travel, commuting and transport when planning until the end of July, please.

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